Greetings from Denmark
Yo!
So I have this thing called a travel blog, and I figure that now that I'm back in Denmark, there's no better an excuse to write on it.
I really had no idea just two weeks and some days ago that I would be writing on this blog. I genuinely thought that the next time I'd be able to get out again is when I fly to Hawaii in December to watch my best friend graduate from the University of Hawaii. I bought my tickets back to Denmark in such a mad act of spontaneity, but I regret nothing. I've learned to crave spontaneity and adventure, and it's now a requirement for my life. It's also been on my bucket list to buy tickets and take off like this spontaneously, so I'm glad I could cross this off. I am so glad to have been able to get out again.
The last time I was in Denmark was September 2016, and I had only five days here. It was the first time I had been back since my exchange year, so I naturally tried to do everything I missed in one week. I tried to go to my favorite cafe, visit all my favorite people, eat all my favorite food, and bike as much as possible. I also tried, while trying to relive my exchange year in one week, to be a Dane as much as I could, and create new experiences. I was trying to live the old and create the new. It was exhausting and bittersweet, and overwhelming and sad, but also so nice to be back.
I also got to experience Denmark during that week as my own person - not as an "ambassador" for "my country," or an "ambassador" for Rotary, or as an exchange student. I could just be me, and I could do what I wanted to do (within legal limits, and using common sense, of course), and when I wanted to do it. I had the opportunity in that week to separate my host country from my exchange year, and I decided that I loved Denmark. Denmark was not to blame for how exhausting and trying my exchange year was, nor was my exchange year to blame for all the things that I couldn't or didn't want to get used to in Denmark. The two were related, but they were, in the end, two autonomous entities.
After that week, and especially since me going back to visit was during the heat of the 2016 presidential campaign, I decided that I wanted to go back to Denmark for more time, and I wanted to leave the USA. I decided that I wanted more time to assimilate to Denmark, to try my hand at being a Dane as an ex-pat and not as an exchange student, and to try to learn Danish as close to a native as possible. So for the last two-ish years that I've been gone from Denmark but wishing to be back, I've been thinking of Denmark in its entirety, and not just from the lens that I first saw it through.
The mindset that I've been in the last two years has proven to be very productive to how I'm spending my current two weeks here. I feel liberated. I have no plans, and no bucket list. Whether or not I make it back to my favorite cafe, or the beach, or eat frikadeller and soft ice cream, are all little details in the big picture. I am taking every single day as it comes, and I'm trying to feel as though I have an infinity here in the two weeks provided. For these two weeks that I am here in Denmark, I want to be a Dane. I want to be who I've dreamt of being since I was last here, and I want, for the first time in my life, to see Denmark alone and outside of the context and boundaries of foreign exchange. The only essential item on my list of things to accomplish here is to speak as much Danish as possible, which, un-coincidentally, is not a tall order considering I am in Denmark.
On the 27th, I am going to Aarhus to visit a friend from my former class here, and also to speak with a professor in a graduate program that I am hoping to apply to when I am finished at WWU. On the 29th, my third host family, who is also the family that I am currently staying with, is holding a påskfrokost, so I will be there. Those are my only two plans, and everything else comes as I go along.
The last time I was in Denmark, I felt like I had been reunited with a part of my heart that I didn't even know I was missing. When Denmark came into view as my flight landed, I felt a happiness that I had never felt before, and that I could have never imagined that I'd feel in my life. It was a type of happiness that I did not know existed. It was intense and hit me hard every second that I was there. Landing again this time in Denmark was not like that - it was actually the definition of an anticlimax - but not in a bad way. It was an anticlimax because it was normal. The drive back to my host city was normal. Speaking Danish was normal. My first full day here, while nice, was normal. Being back in Denmark has been strikingly normal, quite possibly because Denmark is home.
The Pacific Northwest has become a strong part of my identity in the last couple years, and I've truly come to appreciate the beauty of my surroundings. It takes being away to appreciate where you are from (I am speaking only for the grand PNW right now - don't think I've become soft for the USA). I have strong roots in the PNW, and that is not a part of me that I can forget. There are parts of me and my personality that are undoubtedly American, and I will likely never be able to completely shed my American accent. But Denmark can be home too.
It has been surprisingly easy to speak in Danish again, and for that, I am glad. My host sister Helena and her boyfriend Martin visited me in Washington in September, and I found it surprisingly and scarily challenging to understand them. If they were speaking Danish amongst themselves and not directly to me, I could not really understand what they were saying. It did not used to be that way. It was then that I realized that I am in fact not immune to language attrition, and that in my case, the only thing I can really do is watch my Danish deteriorate. I can read and write Danish in the USA, but there is nobody that I can speak to or listen to speak Danish. For how long I can hold onto my Danish, or how fast it deteriorates, is essentially out of my hands when I'm in the USA, which scares me.
Here in Denmark however, I am speaking and thinking in Danish quite naturally, which makes me feel a lot better. I learned Danish for myself, because I felt so much pride in being able to say that I was bilingual. I learned from a relatively young age that language is central to identity, so I am glad to be reunited with the part of my life that I have no choice but to hang up when I'm back in the USA. It feels so good to be bilingual again. I can of course say that I speak Danish to people in the USA, but I can't actually speak Danish to anyone there, because there aren't many Americans that speak Danish. I cannot be bilingual when I'm in the USA. Not to mention the fact that I study linguistics. There are monolingual linguists, but I can't imagine my own life as one. Especially because, had I not learned Danish, I wouldn't be studying linguistics anyway.
It has also been nice to experience Danish hygge again. Every morning is quiet and peaceful. I sit with yogurt and granola and a warm cup of coffee (which is essential for trying to get over my jet lag), I speak some Danish, and I watch as a whole lot of nothing happens outside. My first morning in Denmark, I sat and I quietly remarked to myself how impossible achieving this level of hygge is in the USA. It does not matter how hot my coffee is, how many candles are lit, how beautiful the sunrise or sunset is, or how quiet my room may be. What is effortlessly achieved in Denmark is non-replicable in the USA. It's not a competition - it just is. The word is non-translatable, and the tradition and feeling is too. It is certainly trending in the USA, but truthfully, it doesn't matter how eloquently Buzzfeed or HuffPost can write about it. It is Danish and it is meant to stay that way.
That is all for now. Denmark is great and things are peaceful. "Stille og rolig" som de siger det på Dansk.
So I have this thing called a travel blog, and I figure that now that I'm back in Denmark, there's no better an excuse to write on it.
I really had no idea just two weeks and some days ago that I would be writing on this blog. I genuinely thought that the next time I'd be able to get out again is when I fly to Hawaii in December to watch my best friend graduate from the University of Hawaii. I bought my tickets back to Denmark in such a mad act of spontaneity, but I regret nothing. I've learned to crave spontaneity and adventure, and it's now a requirement for my life. It's also been on my bucket list to buy tickets and take off like this spontaneously, so I'm glad I could cross this off. I am so glad to have been able to get out again.
The last time I was in Denmark was September 2016, and I had only five days here. It was the first time I had been back since my exchange year, so I naturally tried to do everything I missed in one week. I tried to go to my favorite cafe, visit all my favorite people, eat all my favorite food, and bike as much as possible. I also tried, while trying to relive my exchange year in one week, to be a Dane as much as I could, and create new experiences. I was trying to live the old and create the new. It was exhausting and bittersweet, and overwhelming and sad, but also so nice to be back.
I also got to experience Denmark during that week as my own person - not as an "ambassador" for "my country," or an "ambassador" for Rotary, or as an exchange student. I could just be me, and I could do what I wanted to do (within legal limits, and using common sense, of course), and when I wanted to do it. I had the opportunity in that week to separate my host country from my exchange year, and I decided that I loved Denmark. Denmark was not to blame for how exhausting and trying my exchange year was, nor was my exchange year to blame for all the things that I couldn't or didn't want to get used to in Denmark. The two were related, but they were, in the end, two autonomous entities.
After that week, and especially since me going back to visit was during the heat of the 2016 presidential campaign, I decided that I wanted to go back to Denmark for more time, and I wanted to leave the USA. I decided that I wanted more time to assimilate to Denmark, to try my hand at being a Dane as an ex-pat and not as an exchange student, and to try to learn Danish as close to a native as possible. So for the last two-ish years that I've been gone from Denmark but wishing to be back, I've been thinking of Denmark in its entirety, and not just from the lens that I first saw it through.
The mindset that I've been in the last two years has proven to be very productive to how I'm spending my current two weeks here. I feel liberated. I have no plans, and no bucket list. Whether or not I make it back to my favorite cafe, or the beach, or eat frikadeller and soft ice cream, are all little details in the big picture. I am taking every single day as it comes, and I'm trying to feel as though I have an infinity here in the two weeks provided. For these two weeks that I am here in Denmark, I want to be a Dane. I want to be who I've dreamt of being since I was last here, and I want, for the first time in my life, to see Denmark alone and outside of the context and boundaries of foreign exchange. The only essential item on my list of things to accomplish here is to speak as much Danish as possible, which, un-coincidentally, is not a tall order considering I am in Denmark.
On the 27th, I am going to Aarhus to visit a friend from my former class here, and also to speak with a professor in a graduate program that I am hoping to apply to when I am finished at WWU. On the 29th, my third host family, who is also the family that I am currently staying with, is holding a påskfrokost, so I will be there. Those are my only two plans, and everything else comes as I go along.
The last time I was in Denmark, I felt like I had been reunited with a part of my heart that I didn't even know I was missing. When Denmark came into view as my flight landed, I felt a happiness that I had never felt before, and that I could have never imagined that I'd feel in my life. It was a type of happiness that I did not know existed. It was intense and hit me hard every second that I was there. Landing again this time in Denmark was not like that - it was actually the definition of an anticlimax - but not in a bad way. It was an anticlimax because it was normal. The drive back to my host city was normal. Speaking Danish was normal. My first full day here, while nice, was normal. Being back in Denmark has been strikingly normal, quite possibly because Denmark is home.
The Pacific Northwest has become a strong part of my identity in the last couple years, and I've truly come to appreciate the beauty of my surroundings. It takes being away to appreciate where you are from (I am speaking only for the grand PNW right now - don't think I've become soft for the USA). I have strong roots in the PNW, and that is not a part of me that I can forget. There are parts of me and my personality that are undoubtedly American, and I will likely never be able to completely shed my American accent. But Denmark can be home too.
It has been surprisingly easy to speak in Danish again, and for that, I am glad. My host sister Helena and her boyfriend Martin visited me in Washington in September, and I found it surprisingly and scarily challenging to understand them. If they were speaking Danish amongst themselves and not directly to me, I could not really understand what they were saying. It did not used to be that way. It was then that I realized that I am in fact not immune to language attrition, and that in my case, the only thing I can really do is watch my Danish deteriorate. I can read and write Danish in the USA, but there is nobody that I can speak to or listen to speak Danish. For how long I can hold onto my Danish, or how fast it deteriorates, is essentially out of my hands when I'm in the USA, which scares me.
Here in Denmark however, I am speaking and thinking in Danish quite naturally, which makes me feel a lot better. I learned Danish for myself, because I felt so much pride in being able to say that I was bilingual. I learned from a relatively young age that language is central to identity, so I am glad to be reunited with the part of my life that I have no choice but to hang up when I'm back in the USA. It feels so good to be bilingual again. I can of course say that I speak Danish to people in the USA, but I can't actually speak Danish to anyone there, because there aren't many Americans that speak Danish. I cannot be bilingual when I'm in the USA. Not to mention the fact that I study linguistics. There are monolingual linguists, but I can't imagine my own life as one. Especially because, had I not learned Danish, I wouldn't be studying linguistics anyway.
It has also been nice to experience Danish hygge again. Every morning is quiet and peaceful. I sit with yogurt and granola and a warm cup of coffee (which is essential for trying to get over my jet lag), I speak some Danish, and I watch as a whole lot of nothing happens outside. My first morning in Denmark, I sat and I quietly remarked to myself how impossible achieving this level of hygge is in the USA. It does not matter how hot my coffee is, how many candles are lit, how beautiful the sunrise or sunset is, or how quiet my room may be. What is effortlessly achieved in Denmark is non-replicable in the USA. It's not a competition - it just is. The word is non-translatable, and the tradition and feeling is too. It is certainly trending in the USA, but truthfully, it doesn't matter how eloquently Buzzfeed or HuffPost can write about it. It is Danish and it is meant to stay that way.
That is all for now. Denmark is great and things are peaceful. "Stille og rolig" som de siger det på Dansk.
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